How a trip to a music festival can help you find the fountain of youth.
It’s late-afternoon in the sizzling Mojave Desert. Shaded by the “Gobi” Tent, a six-member band from Paris I’d never heard of lines up onstage with massive heart-shaped pins fixed to their coordinated shirts. A heartbeat starts blasting from the massive speakers in sync with the now-flashing pins. It speeds up.
Bmp…….bmp….bmp….bmp…bmp..bmp.
The thousand-strong crowd roars in anticipation. Then it explodes as the members bounce into their places. A bass guitar riff and a huge smile from the lead singer and we are off. This is Coachella.
Before getting too deep, let’s first explore if Coachella is right for you.
Coachella is a really bad idea if…you’re stuck in ’60s ’70s and ’80s music. You like to put down the younger generation for their tastes and attitudes. You are offended when people say motherfker all the time. You don’t like waving your hands in the air when told. You like to go to sleep at 9 pm vs 2 am (3 am is more
accurate). You don’t like massive lines to use porta-potties. You don’t do well in 30+ ̊C heat. You don’t like desert sandstorms that make your pizza a bit crunchy. You don’t want to take a few years off your hearing. You don’t like the feeling of bass beats shaking you to the core while sipping cocktails in the rose garden. You’re on a diet.
But if you want to stay youthful Coachella is perfect. It will boost your curiosity, open your mind to new ideas and connect you to the next generation of artists and ideas. And it’s really fun. It ain’t no country club even though it happens on the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California.
For someone over 50 who still loves new music and has a 16-year- old son who loves new music but not necessarily the same new music, Coachella is a mega experience. My first trip to Coachella was 4 years ago with my other son, then 16. It’s incredible how much I forgot about this year’s venture so for the sole benefit of my next trip I present this unofficial guide to one of the greatest music festivals in the world.
The Basics
Coachella boasts 180 artists (yes. That’s right, I did not add a zero by mistake) performing on 8 stages that all run simultaneously from about 1 p.m. to 1 a.m. over a long weekend in April each year. Attendance is estimated at 125,000 (again, no extra zero). Tickets usually go on sale in June the year prior and it’s always sold out. It was really really expensive. I budgeted $15K for two but you could spend $20-100K pretty easily.
The Travel Party
Who to go with will be your second most important decision next to what shoes to wear. You think I am kidding, but trust me, I’m not. I’ll come back to it when discussing your fits. That’s outfits for us over 30, not tantrums, although I have a section on that when I review the parking situation. OK, where was I? Travel party, right.
A multigenerational approach makes this adventure really special. Take your kids or someone else’s kid with you. Mine were both mature —enough in musical tastes and in general terms — to go at 16. It’s important they have a posse of their own. It adds a bit of safety and they just enjoy it way more. “It’s all about the kids,” my friend and Coachella travelmate Lynne, who inspired me to go to Coachella, often says. Her daughter Lauren, is great friends with my sonDexter. Watching them have fun in their element is really a joy. In our overall party, we had representatives from the teens, 20s, 30s, 50s and 60s. A lot of variety in musical tastes, but a genuine interest in experiencing new music and enjoying the experience.
Twenty-somethings are the dominant group at Coachella. Orient yourself to that decade of your life to get mentally ready. From a friend back home came this question: “Don’t you feel old when you are there surrounded by sweaty dancing totally high youth?” No. I felt the opposite. No one turned to me in the line for the Acai bowls (highly recommended) and said, “ Yo, old guy with the grey hair, who let you in?” Age is an issue in your mind, but no one else’s. The fact that we are the minority balances out the experience scales with our kids. They feel older and we feel younger.
There are moments when you are glad you are not 20. And some where you wish you were. Watching Surf
Curse (named after my many failed attempts at surfing, I am sure) close up at the main stage with Dexter and
Lauren, a mosh pit erupts next to me. I had two thoughts simultaneously: I should protect my cubs; I should jump in and see what happens. I jumped in! The crowd roared and there I was body-surfing plastered on all the massive screens left and right of the stage. No, that did not happen. The lead singer, dressed in a Lion costume as part of a Wizard of Oz theme facing almost certain heat exhaustion, did jump into the mosh pit singing their most recent song “Disco”…taking my place…:)
The Accomodations
Go VIP and get a hotel package. The VIP is really not worth it. Slightly bigger porta-potties. And a shorter line at the entrance. The real reason to get it is it creates an easy meeting place for your party. It’s a base. Oh, and it makes your kids feel special. “It’s all about the kids.”
Now, the hotel vs. Airbnb debate. I love Airbnb, but unless you can walk to yours from the Coachella grounds
(cue the $100K budget) get a hotel package. There are lots of choices. All overpriced for the 3 days. Add Thursday night to help you ease in. Coachella has a “free” shuttle that runs to the hotels. You will have to line up at the end of the night for about 20-30 minutes.
Still think you would rather have your own place? It’s tempting. We stayed in Palm Springs, 30- to 40-minute drive from the venue in Indio. A converted motel. Our whole party of 12 stayed here. Thursday night was fun. Friday night the kids wanted to be close to Harry Styles who was the closer. At 1 a.m. we headed to our car. We started to drive at 1:20. Sorry, wrong word. Inched at 1:20. The first 500 metres took 90 min. Yes, 90. And
the whole trip was 140 min. Two hours and 20 min. Arrival 3:40 a.m. I had it good. Another member of the party Rob arrived after 4 a.m. He witnessed people mowing down fences and pulling out wire cutters in fits of anger.
It got better the next 2 nights but just get the hotel package. Now that the main event is sorted make it a 1-week trip. We headed to Los Angeles for the Wednesday night (ACE hotel for the rooftop pool scene alone) and tacked on 2 nights in a wonderful little place called Pioneertown (look up “Pappy & Harriots Paul McCartney” on YouTube for fun) to decompress after Coachella. Joshua Tree National Park is spectacular too.
So now that you have everything booked, start stretching and plan your workout routine. Count on standing
and dancing for 12 hours a day for 3 days straight. If my hip flexors could rap it would definitely be rated E after just a couple of days.
The Artists
Coachella likes to add tension or they have no idea who is really going to play, so they don’t release the final list of artists until mid-winter. It comes as a poster with the biggest names in the biggest font size. I am into new music across genres and I probably knew 10% of the artists this year. But that’s 18 artists spread across 3 days who each play 45-60 minute sets. So that’s a good base. For the other 90%, I create and share 3 playlists of all the artists playing on each day. There are so many new discoveries in this process alone and it helps you develop a day-by-day shortlist.
Next, and absolutely the most important, are the shoes. Find and break in good shoes that are still kind of fashionable. Sneakers always work well but remember 36 hours standing and dancing. I recommend starting
with shoes and working your way up on what you want to wear. There is no way in hell I will be as fashionable as the Coachella set, so I don’t try too hard.
Dexter is very stylish so he laid out 3 separate “fits” in advance. I asked Lynne to weigh in to give her perspective here. “This was the first Coachella with my 17-year-old daughter. I nodding approved three “complete” Coachella outfits. Include: comfortable shoes, makeup, hat, sunglasses, glitter; one airplane outfit; a bathing suit (for the hotel). As for your own wardrobe, don’t worry too much. Long, loose flowy skirts are best. Comfortable shoes. Hat. Plenty of sunscreen!” Lauren and Dexter added the following tips: Fanny pack, if you wear black make it flowy and bring an extra layer for late at night.
Those last two are key. Look at the forecast 3 days before you leave and make final adjustments. Don’t just
look at the high. Look at the low and the wind speed projections too. It’s the desert and you get the extremes.
I think we hit 34 ̊C one day and there was a race to buy sweatshirts at the merch stand on another night.
The Show
For me, the event really starts when the time schedule is released a day or two before the festival. Guaranteed that 2 of your faves will be playing at the same time. Groans and shrieks are heard every year. Having a sense of your schedule for day 1 will help. The most important piece of advice is to stay open and flexible. Soak it all in at a pace you enjoy. Glass half full — you are going to see 10-15 great artists over 3 days with some fascinating people watching to boot.
At this point, there is a part of me that just wants to let you go and figure it out. After all youthfulness is about adventure and dynamism and uncertainty. But you laid down a couple of grand US on the tickets so I
interviewed Lynne, Lauren and Dexter on the days after Coachella to provide a few tips to smooth your ride.
•Create a meeting point and festival group text for your party as a festival home base. Everyone should have
their own Coachella experience, but this helps coordinate the group to share stories along the way.
•Day 1. Go early and leave early (or really late). If you want merch (what the kool kids call a T-shirt) go when
it opens at noon or the last day when it’s closing if you happen to be XS or XXXXL size. Leave before the last
song of the headliner is played so the line-up at the buses is a bit shorter.
Note: We did not follow our advice on day 1 as it took a bit longer and we were parking. Lets just say the 2.5
hours in the merch tent was brutal. But we got the T-shirt.
•After the merch tent, do a nice slow circuit of the whole property to find all the stages. Take note of the
food stands for later too. Try and slow down. There is so much build-up and chaos that Day 1 can get a bit overwhelming. Senses overload. Crowds can irritate as you are not used to it.
•Start drinking water early and keep going all day and night. The desert is very dry.
•If you really want to see a band up-close, go to the one before and move up in the break.
•Special from Dexter: If in VIP, don’t get caught up on celebrities and the influencers scene. They are
everywhere and are so boring. In the 6 days I’ve spent at Coachella, I’ve had a ton of memorable moments.
Arcade Fire lead singer Win Butler choked up with 2 years of pent-up emotion having to restart their new song. The double smash burger from Love Hour Burgers (from Koreatown in L.A). Such a clever name as I say it out loud with a smile. The midnight find – FKJ – is one-man-band with incredible multi-instrument talent
and a sound that felt like a desert lullaby for the intensity of the day I’d lived. The random witnessing of one masked Orville Peck with his Alt-Country crowd-pleasing vibe.
The spot we found right in front of the sound booth centre-stage with enough room to dance-till-we-dropped to Disclosure as the sun dropped below the mountain peaks around us. And L’Imperatrice. They bounded through their 45-min teaser set with a bopping crowd urging them the whole way. As the last cord played, the heartbeat sounded from the stack of speakers again. The group lined up at the front of the stage with their heart-shape pins still on. Pulsing. The heartbeat slows and eventually stops.
The crowd roared. We all wanted more. Thoughts raced through my mind: Why have I never heard of these guys? How do I get one of those heart pins? Where are they playing next? Could I become a groupie and travel the world with them?
This is Coachella. Youthfulness on display. Enjoy.
